In particular, you should try putting yourself into leadership roles that you feel comfortable maintaining, even if those roles aren’t directly related to the field you want to become powerful in. For instance, you might lead a small group at your church even though you want to become powerful at the office. By putting yourself into positions of authority, you can develop a more powerful personality. That personality can then carry over into other areas of your life.
The moments you recall can deal with virtually any aspect of life. For example, you might choose a notable academic accomplishment, like graduating with honors, or even a personal one, like successfully quitting smoking. Regardless of what you choose, the point is to focus on the sensation of being powerful rather than on the actual event itself.
Expansive body language can include crossing your arms, crossing your legs so that the knee sticks out, stretching out your legs so that they extend beyond the edge of the chair, or holding your hands to your hips. In contrast, you demonstrate constricted posture when you do things like folding your legs beneath your chair, dropping your shoulders, or holding your hands to your sides.
Don’t be afraid of making changes or taking risks, and even if you are afraid, you should act as though you aren’t. Power works in a cycle. When others view you as being powerful, they will naturally treat you like you’re a powerful person, even to the extent of granting you power you didn’t have before.
When pursuing your own path, don’t constantly broadcast it. Doing so makes it appear as though you’re seeking approval, which puts you in a less powerful position than the others you seek it from.
The key is understanding which rules need to be kept and which can be broken. There is no single way to define which is which since each set of circumstances can vary drastically, but as a general rule, only break a rule that needs to be broken. Look for areas that could be improved upon if the current rules were stretched a bit and see what you can do to break free of unnecessary restrictions.
Failure is a part of everyone’s life story, and powerful people aren’t afraid of admitting to that. The key is accepting it and proactively working to correct it. Instead of discussing who has the most fault in a situation, you can demonstrate more power by replying with a simple, “I’ll take care of this. "
Taking care of your physical health is a straightforward matter. Eat well, exercise enough to stay in shape, and get the sleep your body needs to function. Taking care of your mental and emotional health can be trickier, but in general, you should take time to relax and reconnect with the people and things that are important to you. Don’t get so caught up in chasing power that you let the quest consume you.
Instead of asking permission to do something, state your plans without asking for confirmation. Even if things would end up the same way regardless of whether you made the first move, stating your expectations first will allow you to claim the more powerful position in the interaction.
Stick to the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated. You wouldn’t like it if someone was running late to a meeting and didn’t warn you in advance, nor would you like it if you did someone a favor and he or she didn’t offer so much as a single “thank you. ” If someone who demonstrates this sort of behavior would lose your confidence, you’ll probably lose someone else’s confidence if you act like this.
For instance, if you’re researching something for someone and have told him or her that you expect to have an answer by Tuesday afternoon, you need to contact that person by or before Tuesday afternoon. Even if you don’t have the answer, you need to drop that person a line and let him or her know that you haven’t forgotten and still intend to follow through.
Detailed communication is important if you want to avoid later mishaps and meltdowns. Everyone needs to be on the same page. Even if things go wrong, previously maintaining clear communication will reduce the amount of finger-pointing that results from the misfortune since no one can claim that they simply “didn’t know. ” In business, in particular, you should also communicate in writing as often as possible so that the details can be readily referenced and reviewed later on.
Of course, there are times when you will need to wait for instructions before acting. If you have a new job, for example, it’ll take time before you know everything well enough to act on your own. The main thing you need to avoid is forcing people to ask you for something repetitively. No matter how well you complete the task, the person receiving the results will probably feel frustrated if he or she needed to remind you multiple times.
In particular, you should stop obsessing over texts, calls, and e-mails at the expense of the people in front of you. Technology can keep you in constant contact with others, and that’s a good thing, but you can’t rely on it. You need to react to the whole being—mentally and emotionally—when dealing with others, and that requires attention and authenticity.
Instead of fixating on others’ faults, help them work through it. Similarly, when someone points out your own faults, accept the criticism graciously and learn to improve from it.
In fact, you should actively seek people in positions of power. Making connections with the right people will make it easier to put yourself on the right path.
There is always a place for forgiveness and understanding. That being said, people generally won’t seek forgiveness if you’re too busy doing the apologizing and regretting for them. Allowing yourself to express anger doesn’t mean you need to be merciless, but it does mean you’ll need to demonstrate that you can’t be pushed around.
In general, being straightforward without pulling any punches will rub some people the wrong way, but you can’t let that knowledge stop you from acting how you need to act. Be tactful, open-minded, and willing to compromise as needed. When push comes to shove, though, don’t be afraid of stepping on some toes to get things done the right way.
