Don’t argue with an narcissist because they’ll just keep escalating things until they get their way. They’re incapable of seeing things from your point of view. Just ignore them. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Revenge is actually one of the narcissist’s games. When they feel slighted, they’ll spread rumors about you, destroy your stuff, or get violent. In some cases, they’ll pursue revenge over a long period of time. [3] X Research source Normal ways of getting revenge don’t work on a narcissist, but they’ll hate seeing you move on.
Post photos on social media of you having fun with friends or family. Brag to your mutual friends about your accomplishments or progress on goals. Go on a few casual or group dates to dip your toes in the dating scene. Give yourself a post-breakup makeover.
“Please stop contacting me. ” “Don’t share my photos with other people. ” “I won’t talk to you when you’re yelling. ” “I’m ending the conversation if you call me names. ” “I’m only going to talk to you about the kids. ”
Stop returning their phone calls and texts. Don’t react to anything they say or do. Refuse to give them compliments. Stop doing favors for them.
Taking several deep breaths. Counting to 10. Repeating the word “relax” to yourself. Imagining a calm scene. Stretching.
You might have to keep talking to them if you have kids together or if you work with them. Try to keep your conversations limited to talking about your children or your job.
They’ll likely shower you with compliments and tell you how much they miss you. They’re only going to keep this up until you come back, and then they’ll be back to their games.
You might go after the job you want, even though they said you wouldn’t be good at it. Similarly, you may decide to start a new hobby even though your ex said it would be a waste of time. Learn to follow your intuition.
Identify goals that are important to you. Practice self care so you look and feel your best. Compliment yourself.
It’s possible that the narcissist will try to turn some people against you. This experience can be super painful, but it has nothing to do with you. Eventually, most people will recognize that the narcissist is the true problem. In the meantime, spend time with people who see your truth.
Tell yourself things like, “I did everything I could to make our relationship wonderful,” “I can’t control anyone else’s actions,” “I gave 100% to my relationship. ” Vent about your experiences to someone you can trust. Unfortunately, talking to the narcissist will only make them work harder to make you feel bad.
Consider working with a therapist to help you rebuild your self-esteem after this toxic relationship. They can help you heal from narcissistic abuse.
