For example, you might say, “I feel like you don’t pay attention to me anymore which is why I’ve been talking to people online,” or you may say, “I’m really frustrated with our relationship because I don’t feel like I can talk to you about things. " No one enjoys having a difficult conversation with their partner, but it’s really important to talk about issues so you know how to rebuild your relationship.
If you’re the one that feels hurt, you might say, “I need some time for myself to think about all of this. I’ll let you know when I want to talk. " If you’re the one who broke their trust, you might offer them space by saying, “I know you’ve got a lot on your mind right now. Would it help to have a little space to think about things?"[4] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
For example, you might say, “I need to know where you’re at when you’re not at home or at work. " If you’re trying to earn their trust, you might volunteer suggestions—offer to call or text so you stay in communication.
For instance, you might think, “I’ve been lying to my partner because I’m worried they don’t love me anymore,” or, “I’m exhausted because I don’t feel like I can trust my partner not to cheat. "
Forgiving the person doesn’t mean you have to forget what they’ve done. Instead, you’re making a choice that the relationship is still worth it and you want to rebuild it together. [9] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. You may not know where to begin so it’s completely fine to keep your apology simple. You might say, “I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a few days. I know I hurt you by texting that person and I shouldn’t have. "
For instance, you both might agree to share information with each other which could mean sitting down and talking every day or not hiding personal accounts online. The less accusatory or defensive you are, the faster you’ll rebuild trust.
For instance, you might say, “We haven’t talked about communication in a few days. Do you want to chat about it this evening?”
Openly communicating can prevent misunderstandings. For instance, you might say to them, “I can’t help but worry about what you’ve been doing since you’ve been home a lot less this week. " Then, they can hopefully put your mind at ease before you start assuming the worst.
For instance, you might say, “It’s been a long time since we’ve gone on a date. Want to see a movie or hit the arcade?”
For example, you might realize that your feeling of insecurity caused you to accuse your partner of cheating, even if it turns that they didn’t. Going forward, you can talk with your partner about your worries so you feel reassured and positive about your relationship. It might take time to get to this point! There may be a lot of anger or resentment, but at some point, both of you have to find some inner peace.
For instance, you might take a trip that you’ve both wanted to do for a long time. Talk about where you both want to go, things you want to do, and foods you want to try.
A good therapist will help you repair trust in your relationship while encouraging you to work on self-improvement and self-care. Not sure how to bring up therapy? You might say, “I know we’ve been having a rough time and I think it might help if we sat down with a couples counselor. I really want to make our relationship work. "
