Naming and discussing their emotions will help them recognize them more clearly in the future. For young children who cannot communicate their feelings, parents can state or reflect how the child is feeling: “You look upset. " “You seem frustrated. " “So your feelings are hurt. " The child can then respond by either affirming or denying the reflected emotions. In this way, parents are teaching the child to identify and correctly label emotions and the child is recognizing and labeling his/her emotions. [1] X Research source
For example, if your son/daughter is angry, you can say “I can see that you’re angry right now. I know what it’s like to feel angry. It’s okay to feel angry. " If they are too young to describe their experience, even just being there with them and paying attention to what they’re doing can be a powerful form of mirroring.
Be available. Establish an open relationship where they can talk to you whenever they feel the need. This could be as simple as encouraging them when they tell you about their lives. Reflect what they say. When they tell you about how they feel, rephrase it and ask if you got it right. Avoid jumping to conclusions. If you catch the child doing something wrong, allow them to explain themselves before you respond. Ask questions about their reasoning and try to understand.
This will give them a sense of stability and order in a sometimes-scary world. [4] X Research source
Involving them in the decision-making process is a good way to introduce them to personal responsibility and clear thinking. Make sure to tailor this to their age and to the situation at hand. [6] X Research source Keep the “final say” in your own court, though. Authoritative parenting is generally the best approach. This kind of parenting involves some flexibility without giving away too much power. [7] X Research source
Clenched fists Tension or holding themselves tightly Angry facial expressions Stomping Verbal outbursts such as yelling and cursing
Physical needs such as not being hungry, cold, or tired. Attention. Children need attention from caregivers and people around them. Read them a book or play games together. Stimulation. Children need novel stimulation in order to thrive. New toys, friends, and activities can help them avoid emotional problems. Feeling safe and security. If your home is chaotic, they may act out because of feeling insecure.
Tell a joke. Watch a funny TV show or read a funny book together. Make funny faces. This is most effective with younger children.
Don’t restrain the child, even accidentally. This can increase their feelings of powerlessness, and teach them that they need someone else to control their behavior.
Don’t forget to keep your own safety in mind. Pacify a violent child if you can. Take steps to prevent injury. If they attack if you get close, then don’t get in their personal space. Wait until they are calm enough to be approached. Absolutely avoid responding with physical aggression of your own. This will teach them that it’s an effective way to communicate and get what they want. Contact a therapist who specializes in treating children if physical aggression is a common event and is violent.
Prepare in advance if the child regularly has issues handling a particular behavior. Create a game-plan for how to react so that you can avoid spur of the moment decisions.
Use nonverbal communication. Head nods, smiles, and hugs are an effective way to reinforce behavior and better the relationship without needing to spend money. Provide extra positive attention. Be specific with verbal praise. If the child does well on a test, tell them “I’m proud of you for working hard on this test. "
Apply deep pressure. This could mean asking for a back rub from a loved one, giving themselves a hand massage, wrapping themselves tightly in a blanket, or using a weighted lap pad or blanket. Offer drawing, painting, or coloring materials. This can help them focus on something other than being upset while also giving them an outlet for their emotions. Show him the same deep breathing techniques that you use. You can make it playful by exaggerating the bodily movements. Provide a calming item or favorite stuffed animal that they can touch or hug when upset. If they are scared to be away from home, you can provide a small reminder of safety that they can carry in their pocket, and they can can touch or look at when feeling sad or anxious.
It can be helpful to wait until the crisis is over before you start reflecting. Keep yourself present to his feelings.
Accept that help won’t always be perfect. Sometimes imperfect help is better than no help. For example, if you’re worried that your spouse may feed your daughter junk food, think of that as an acceptable compromise for a moment of peace. [17] X Research source
Go on a date. This can be with your spouse or someone new if you’re single. See a movie with friends. Go to a spa. Treat yourself to some relaxation and self-care.
